He is no longer my Darling Boy rather I can now see him for what he is.
A Damsle in Distress.
Gone in a blink of an eye.
His strong desire to not want a relationship I am almost positive would bend to my will. But not this man, a will of iron. It is rare that I can’t persuade someone to see it my way. And while I know he wanted to see my happiness, he mentioned this countless times, he was afraid of hurting me….
After a discussion going back and forth of the why. I said
Thank you for our time together, but I can no longer see you.
I know he wanted to stay friends with me… It’s just not something I can do.
While he has no emotion and feeling, Like a zombie. I know I couldn’t live with knowing I didn’t make the world even slightly more bearable as his girlfriend.
But my quick haste to remove the pain from my life, he mentioned that it wasn’t me… I know what you are thinking
It’s not you, it’s me
But I have found, after dealing with so many friends suffering with depression that it’s not fare to leave them alone in the dark.
I offered my love and he knew it would only hurt me more so he refused.
I am grateful that he rejected my desire to be in a relationship with him.
But I have left my friendship on the table after reconsidering my decision to stop all contact. While I know it wasn’t a threat, or a deal breaker, It was a way of simply explaining why we couldn’t be together. He told me there would be a letter with my name on it.
I don’t think I could bare to never see his face again before he goes.