30 Entries for 30 Days – Number 11 – The Pre-Relationship Relationship

As you know this ’30 day’ thing is being stretched to 30+ days since I am so slack with posting, there will still be 30 posts when I get around to them all.

But I know I am not alone in revealing in this stage before a relationship starts or ends before it starts.

It’s a great day to be alive, tensions are heavy, and the blinding thrill has slowed down, so that you can make out the potential destruction through all the metaphorical clouds that are your emotions.
This is the perfect time to see how well they treat you, both of you can pull out of this process at anytime under the assumption on one is attached to strongly. But here lies the problem, by this stage you are so wrapped up in each others dramas that the idea of being separated hurt to the core.

Of course it is a great time to see how personalities clash, I’m very much a Better Dig Two kind of gal after plenty of experiences, I get ridiculously  attached when I really like someone. I think the last time I felt like this was the Floridian Maths Teacher, before that was  my motorcycle driveby,  and before that was SeaBas, a guy I met at the gym and spent only a month in a relationship with, followed by months of dating.

So it’s been while, but not long enough that I’ve forgotten not to jump in the sack straight away. The funny thing with all these guys, in my attempt to show them how much I cared about them and wanted to be with them long term my actions backfired on me and the fact that I had slept with them ruined any further relationship.

Keeping in mind I only keep in contact with ‘Motorcycle DriveBy’ Guy, who calls me when ever he needs an ego boost and wants to know that I would still drop anything, or anyone to be with him…

Perhaps I am the problem….

But this is the update:

I love this stage of a ‘pre’ relationship, the honey moon phase is floating around, there are no rules as you guys aren’t a thing, there is so much internal debate on if you are exclusive. and the turmoil inside is worth it when they say what you want to hear, your entire body feels at peace, but until then you are left with:

Should I be this open with someone I just met?

Are they going to hurt me?

But what happens if they don’t want something more serious?

Are they sleeping with someone else too?

Well, my dear Cody, the Tinder Fling, gave me the ultimatum either I have sex with him or He’s going to find it else where.

You know, I have never felt this strong in a position where I supposedly have no power, I’m sticking to my guns. When I first read that text I admit my stomach dropped and I felt like someone had shot me.  His exact words were:

“….So I am sorry If I end up doing something with another girl. Fuck I am sounding like an asshole. But honestly I’m not going to go looking  I would rather you ;)”

Are you freaking kidding me?

The advice I was given from a fellow Pre-Realtionship Relationshiper was that he was a jerk, but perhaps  reconnect in a few months since we were at different stages… Then in the same breath she changed her tune to:

“Ok I lied, RUN, RUN LIKE HELL!”

But the worst thing at the end of her rant about this guys being a moron was that she said :

“I won’t judge you no matter what you do, I am totally still in love with that guy, *C-face*, We can’t resist each other and the cycle continues”

If ever I saw a toxic relationship, this is one, while they are still no where near a proper relationship, their connection is like one in a terrible romance drama. Ive seen it before with my best friend from high school. It’s a cycle that starts up with anger and passion and tragedy and continues, The best example I would have to give would be Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath, two of my favourite poets, who’s love was focused around destruction.

You can read my post on why Pre-Relationship Break Ups Suck : HERE


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