30 Entries for 30 Days – Number 7 – Do I learn from HER mistakes?

And we are back on track today with our sad and pathetic posts about my love life, Yay…

Can you learn from someone else’s mistakes?

Ok well this is a question I think we all face, not just when you are worried about making the same mistakes.

We can observe and try ourselves to not fall for it, but then it is nothing more than a piece of advice. Whether we take notice, is up to us.  

I have a pretty big fear of ruining the potential of a relationship by putting myself out there, but if I don’t, I wont know – this is the philosophy that has governed me for my whole ‘romantic‘ life. I always put myself out there to be hurt since I know how great it is when it goes right, sadly the last time it went wrong to put me on an unintentional war path of self destruction by jumping into relationships with people I didn’t like. But aye, if I need to make the same mistakes again to learn, then clearly they have not made that much of an impact.

This was the drama that I was debating about, asking whether or not he was seeing other people so I know if I should have put all my eggs in one basket, because after meeting him, he ruined casual dating for me, no one is as handsome or funny, sure there are nice guys, but no one so far with the same attraction that I feel for Cody.

It made it clear to me this morning when I woke up to a new drama in my news feed that last nights deliberation was pointless.
Cody, the tinder fling‘s, ex girlfriend had posted this long ass thing about him being a crazy person, well luckily I knew that part, unlucky for me to learn that there was apparently a drug and violence problem thrown in with the mix. Do I take this indirect advice and back off, or wait it out as there is a freaking high chance it is just slander. 
Regardless, is their destructive personalities the reason why they lasted for 2 years? Am I just too normal for him? I feel a bit of Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath rising to the surface from what I have heard about their relationship.

Can I learn from someone else’s mistakes?

I would say no, no I can’t. It is one of those things I need to do for myself, feel the burn and reel back to start the process over again with another man.
But the fact that, now the seed of doubt floats in my mind has given me perspective, something  that will make me be able to let go instantly if any of it was true, which I didn’t have before. So good job ex girlfriend.  But that does mean the three month timer starts again from today or the next time he brings her up with their drama. It can be hard to watch someone you are suddenly attached to have no obvious signals to show you if they are actually here in the present with you, or if they are reliving their old relationships, just settling in where they left off.

If there was ever a man that does not send off body language, Cody would be one. When I think he is joking, he is serious, when he is serious I mistake it for a joke. Can I pass it off as I’m just not used to this sort of personality? Or are they warning signs that we aren’t a good match?

Anyways thanks for dropping by, feel free to leave a comment if you think I’m being a moron about the situation.


One thought on “30 Entries for 30 Days – Number 7 – Do I learn from HER mistakes?

  1. Pingback: 30 Entries for 30 Days – Number 1 – What the hell am I doing? | Elysium Tewlder

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