Ok, so we are taking a break from the tinder romance saga that is my life, Todays Entry is all about the lovely world of the internet allowing us to feel better.
I often find myself browsing stumble upon at the strangest times, searching minimalism, or I’ll be on google on my phone searching ‘Reasons to be a minimalist’.
I actually have the most boring web search history.
But what is it that drives me to ‘research’ something that I already know? It’s bizarre, when I travel I rarely touch the computer, or even use search engines on my phone. I admit I did use my phone numerous times during the day while traveling, but thats because it was my camera, all my ‘paperwork’ confirmations were stored on it, and CityMaps2Go is the best thing for maps (unless you are traveling in China where the street names are so off). But as soon as I come home, I just sit, stagnant in life and suddenly I need to cull my possessions further. Back in 2012, I went through this crazy stage in my life where I quit drinking, dropped out of university, excised for two hours every day, went on medication, enrolled in a health degree, sold off a lot of things and donated most of my clothing, All with the intention of making myself better. Looking back it doesn’t seem like such a crazy change, just something that most people do at different stages in their life.
Could it be that I am just looking something to fill a hole in my heart?
Maybe I’m just trying to get back, I am seeking for that happiness and self worth I used to have. And since association is the best thing I have, when I have less stuff I have more time, more time for reading, more time for myself, more time to study, more time to work and exercise. It is understandable that I assume that when I get rid of things I’ll start having motivation to excise, study and ‘work on myself’.
Surely in order to get back to this mind set I should just get the motivation and start putting things in place, but I really feel like I have too much stuff but nothing to get rid of… So of course the internet comes in handy for making me feel better.
I find myself constantly searching and re-searching ‘Minimalism’ on google, as if all the articles I’ve read and re-read will suddenly hold the key for my mental block. It’s crazy I think to consider, that even though I know I have read the first 30 pages of results about minimalism on google, I keep thinking I will read something new that will change my life.
I must admit all those motivational quotes, wanky as they are, really make me feel good, if not self entitled (which I guess is the opposite of mindset of simplicity – the humbling mindset). So here I am sitting at my computer when I should be listening to a lecture on blood based pathology.
But yet, I am still yearning to know more about how people are so freaking happy when they own so little!
I mean, What do I think that minimalism will bring me?
It’s not magic, it doesn’t cure people…
But for some reason I am sure that when I have less things I always feel lighter and more free. My mum who loves the idea of ‘decluttering’, makes fun of me for being ‘addicted’ to getting rid of things which she deems perfectly fine, and they are. I don’t throw stuff in the bin, I always rehome it or donate it… But I don’t need 5 cardigans no matter what anyone says. I miss there being only two choices about what to wear and that was weather dependant. What happened to my weekly wardrobe, an outfit for a specific week day. My poor colleagues, they really must think I have two changes of clothes, and so what! I mean I don’t totally love that in all my pictures of the last four months I am wearing the same two shirts and skirt in all of my pictures…But thats ok, I can just tell people I can teleport.
On a unrelated note, Pandora has become one of the big trendsetters in introduction of new bands to people from the same genre, So I have a station of Sad Bastard Music and one of Country Music (don’t judge me for my love of Kacey Musgrave and Dierks Bentley) and BAM! up pops Taylor swift’s new song ‘Blank Space’, which is weird since I don’t totally hate it… But the hell Pandora! What is this!? If it was an older one of her songs that was the same genre I would shrug it off and skip it, but this is a pop song…