Who Me? Grown Up?

Who Me? Are we talking about me acting grown up?  No that’s really not possible.. Well I thought so at Three months ago I showed it, I proved it to myself. 

It was not me putting money away into savings.
It was not working three jobs.
It was not having all my course work done on time.
I was not being responsible for my actions.

I have always been mature and responsible. But acting grown up? Nah that isn’t for me, I don’t know what the definition is exactly. I don’t think that acting grown up is the same as being mature. To me acting grown up is about saying no, that one time for yourself. 

I can narrow it down to the one act in my life so far that showed me that I had grown up.

I was with a man, a man who is the one who got away. The man I would do anything for, anything he asked or wanted. But all i had to say was no. A one syllable word. It freed me from a circle. A constant never ending circle of me doing anything he asked. I did not want to say no. but i said it for myself. That moment I knew I was growing up. No longer a helpless child who cant understand the rules of men. But I got it. Hell! I still dont know how men play the game. But I do know that me saying “no” freed me to move on, grow up and be my own person and… well care about myself first. 

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