No Longer The Darling Boy.

He is no longer my Darling Boy rather I can now see him for what he is.
A Damsle in Distress.

Gone in a blink of an eye.
His strong desire to not want a relationship I am almost positive would bend to my will. But not this man, a will of iron. It is rare that I can’t persuade someone to see it my way. And while I know he wanted to see my happiness, he mentioned this countless times, he was afraid of hurting me….
After a discussion going back and forth of the why. I said

Thank you for our time together, but I can no longer see you.

I know he wanted to stay friends with me… It’s just not something I can do.

While he has no emotion and feeling, Like a zombie. I know I couldn’t live with knowing I didn’t make the world even slightly more bearable as his girlfriend.

But my quick haste to remove the pain from my life, he mentioned that it wasn’t meI know what you are thinking

It’s not you, it’s me

But I have found, after dealing with so many friends suffering with depression that it’s not fare to leave them alone in the dark.
I offered my love and he knew it would only hurt me more so he refused.
I am grateful that he rejected my desire to be in a relationship with him.
But I have left my friendship on the table after reconsidering my decision to stop all contact. While I know it wasn’t a threat, or a deal breaker, It was a way of simply explaining why we couldn’t be together. He told me there would be a letter with my name on it.
I don’t think I could bare to never see his face again before he goes.



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