Poetry

“Life Is To Short To Live Without Poetry, So Come On Darling And Show It Me”
~ Frank Turner~

Alight, you probably are getting tired of my constant reference to Frank Turner, But has made the biggest impact on my life and the Quote fits perfectly!!!
So Poetry? Well to be honest I used to hate it with a passion. I think it developed when I realised I couldn’t write poetry. I was twelve and well what twelve-year-old wants to write poetry? I didn’t. Anyway after much hatred of Poetry I finally found the key that would hold my love of poetry.
Sylvia Plath; I don’t know what it was about her writing. The anguish and the anger and sadness that echoed through her choice of words? Or the way the words sat in time?
I don’t know the pinpoint but from the first few lines of Daddy ~ that was it. I was hooked. After I read Daddy, I quickly moved on to read all the poems inside Ariel. I simply had to know who Ted Hughes was so I went and bought his book Birthday Letters. And to me it was like the sky opened up and I felt like I understood that there was something more than just words.
I envy the students who are taught about it during the HSC. How lucky they are!
After doing a lot of reasearch I finally watched the movie about the two. I found it very hard to watch but I am glad that I did. The only observation that I will make is that I belive she was a troubled soul. I wouldn’t pass blame to anyone in this situation.
Back to the poetry.

What brought this topic to mind is that I was going through some of my old things and books and found all my old poetry books from A levels, Seamus Heaney and Owen Sheers. I remember all the resentment I had for those books before I found I loved them so dearly after reading Plath. It made me think of Plath’s poems and how I would say them allowed as I walked to school with one of my friends. All of those poems locked into my brain forever. I couldn’t help myself doing it as I walked from the station to work. They were like rivers and streams that I couldn’t stop.  Sam, Daddy, Red. All the words wanting to be spoken. It was a feeling I hadn’t had for a long time.
My favorite Poems :

Plath:
Daddy
Lady Lazarus

Hughes:
Your Paris
Red

Heaney:
Blackberry Picker
Bogland ~ALl of his poems to do with the peat bogs take my interest more than anything~
Death of a Naturalist
Follower
Mid Term Break
~What I found amusing is that ALL of Heaney’s poems I used to resent and now they are some of my favorites that spring off my tongue  without any thought~

~Poetry, How I Have Missed You~

I wish I could pinpoint the moment when I stopped saying them at dinner parties and for fun. They just ceased to exist in my life for a long time being replaced with copious amounts of alcohol. I suppressed by the loud music which drowned them out. Instead of continuing and furthering my love of literature, I stepped on it in my haste to grow up and party.

What I am most looking forward to in a few weeks after my exams, is to sit down with a good book and read. To me reading is so nourishing for your soul.

When someone tells me that they hate reading I cant help but wonder, Is it the style of writing, the culture you are apart of ~ sex drugs and rock and roll~ that is preventing you from enjoying it? Or is it the lack of understanding?
To me I know why I resented books and literature for a long time.
Maybe it was the same reason that they don’t like it too?

We Dont Like Things We Dont Understand.
~So take some time to help yourself understand, you may be surprised.~

How To Pass The Time

1. Dont look at the clock… Not Even Once. When I get to work I cover the face of my watch with a post it note and hide all the other clocks in the room.
2. If I am at home I lie in bed and I almost alwasy find that time passes faster. I lie down at 8:30am and wake up at 10:30.. two hours past and I dont even remember going to sleep.
3. Invest in a really good book. ~ If you dont have one that makes you want to just sit down and read and read and read until you finish it, then go to the Library and borrow one.
4. Take a walk, dont take your phone or your watch or a reminder of the time and just walk until you feel it badly and then you’ll be so tired when you get home you can sleep the next few hours and Bam when you wake up your day has already gone.
5. Internet:
Facebook ~ that son of a gun ~ You dont really do anything but stare at the page until a new thing happneds !
Cyanide and Happieness~ So many hours spent looking though that site
Texts From Last Night ~ yet another good time waister.
Games ~ play something to take your mind off the time
6. Do some baking. make a complicated thing that takes alot of time
7. Watch an entire Tv season in a day.
8. Spend the time talking to someone.
9. Go spend time with Friends
10. Look at my Blog, or actually do some work. It’s up to you…

Budgeting Your Money

Budgeting is hard for all of us. It’s tough to save money for aomething that is so far away when all you want to do is have it now. After earning $500 a week working full time before I started University having my payslip come in as less then half that per week was very hard to adjust to.
When I was getting paid more I spent more. I would only have $100 put into savings every two weeks. I dont know what happned to the rest. I would find things to spend it on. Lunch, Hairdressers, Clubbing, Clothes, Nicknacks… I would splurge on things I didnt need or really even want becasue I could.

After the last two months of finally paying off my debt that I had accumilated due to my lifestyle I’m prepared to save the right way.

I figure divide your money into weekly amounts.
So I earn $192 a week. I’ll put half into savings to save for my trip to Vietnam in 8 months time.
I’m left with $96. I dont want to deprive myself of joy completly. So I’ll allow $15 spread over the week to get a coffee or a snack at Uni or Work ~I think it is a good idea to allow yourself treats so you dont feel deprived and then end up spending your whole paycheck by accident~
Ok So after that I’m left with $81. I spend $26 on transport a week. $55 left ~This is getting scary I still have my monthly bills to pay~
Now what else do I have to pay for?
Weekly:

  • Gym Membership $25
  • Loans $25
  • Going Out $60
  • Miselaneous $20
  • Clothes $60
  • Festivals $30
  • Hair $45
  • Food $50
  • Bills $20

Oh dear. Not alot of money to cover alot of things is it?

But thats is ok. I have a solution: Cut down on the things you dont need right?
I already mentioned I have started to do excersise at home. I paid off all my loans by simply not going out or allowing any outgoings. So thats two things off my list already.

  • Gym Membership $25
  • Loans $25
  • Going Out $60
  • Miselaneous $20
  • Clothes $60
  • Festivals $30
  • Hair $45
  • Food $50
  • Bills $20

Going out four nights a week isnt productive to my health so If i used to spend $60 over each night and I’ve already cut it down to $60 for the entire weekend… Do I really need that Alcohol? No – Brilliant This will make it easier not to say no to alcohol becasue I dont have the money. If you do enjoy your alcohol and dont want to cut it out of your night out then simply limit it or go somewhere cheaper. Sydney has a backpacker bar called ‘Bar Centruy’ $3 drinks all day everyday. Maybe your city has something similar Vs the $7.50 you pau at a club for the same drink.
I dont want to stop going out so I’ll just limit it down to $20 a week for either movies or entry into a night club.

  • Gym Membership $25
  • Loans $25
  • Going Out $60 $20
  • Miselaneous $20
  • Clothes $60
  • Festivals $30
  • Hair $45
  • Food $50
  • Bills $20

Festivals and Miselaneous? Well I have two Music Festivals I have bought tickets too. They go for 6 days each. Hmmm I have already paid off the ticket price. But what about living expense and transport. Eww I didnt think of that when I bought the ticket. If I save the two together and drop the amount I am saving I have four months until one of the festivals. So if I save $20 instead for the next few months and borrow the additional out of my savings acount, then when the festivals are over I can pay it back? Yeah good thinking.

  • Gym Membership $25
  • Loans $25
  • Going Out $60 $20
  • Miselaneous $20
  • Clothes $60
  • Festivals $30 $20
  • Hair $45
  • Food $50
  • Bills $20

Hair Money.. Hmm this is going to be hard. I cant aford to get my roots re-done every few weeks. Each time that I go to the Hairdressers I end up paying $180. I dont need it I guess. Since my roots are so dark I’ll just go to a darker shade of the colour I have now ~ then I dont have to deal with regrowth~ You can die your hair when you are able to aford the outgoings. Being blond is expensive!
Food
I really cant go without food. But luckilyI have wonderful parents to visit and get fed at the same time. I think this is killing two birds with one stone. Go home for dinner. Stop eating out! I shouldnt talk becasue of the coffees and snacks I buy but by taking my own lunch I save $500 a week.
Yeah Take Your Lunch.
Bills. Eww. Phone Bill and regular bills… Ok anyone would be lucky to have bills as cheap as $20. But I think the same theory applies to anyone regardless of the amount. Bills come first, Like rent. So there goes half of your savings. I am assuming you will be earning more then what I do So thats where your savings will probably end up going.
Pay Your Bills Before You Allow Yourself To Go Out.
Clothes~ I have SO MANY~… I dont need any more. Minium is best. Wear it out and once its threadbare then go and get new clothes. You dont need to have a new dress each week.

  • Gym Membership $25
  • Loans $25
  • Going Out $60 $20
  • Miselaneous $20
  • Clothes $60
  • Festivals $30 $20
  • Hair $45
  • Food $50(The $15 I already counted above for coffee and snacks – If you cant afford it then remove it)
  • Bills $20
    =$60

Hmm I’m stuck at a problem. My expenses are more then what I set asideDamn. $60 Vs the $55 I have budgeted.
But Don’t stress. Only go out once every two weeks or on special occassions. You will enjoy the reward more and be able to aford things.

When a pair of my shoes went bust and broke, I simply didnt go out partying for a few weeks and then I had enough money to buy some new shoes.

 

 

 

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How To Deal With a BreakUp

We’ve all been there,

Dumped, Cheated on, or Left

My tips to deal with it is inspired by the Sugababes~ Their songs are my lifesavers time and time again. If it’s me or a best friend who is going through it. Out comes the Sugababes.
Get Your CD player and blast Hole In the Head – Best song you can listen to ~ feel empowered!

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  • Erase his number, hard and you will undoubtedly have a bit of a cry but it’s better to stop yourself from the temptation to call him and beg him to come back. YOU don’t need him. and that goes for facebook. Delete him
  • Have your quick allowed wallowing time.
  • Get a manicure. Splurge, spoil yourself. You may want to make a drastic change to your appearance. But Think about it! You may regret chopping off your hair. But hair will grow out but do you want to have that as a constant reminder of them? I would opt for something natural looking that isn’t too much of a change from what you have.
  • Organise to go out with one of your single friends and Wingman each other. and meet up with some new people. Get seen (check in on facebook)to be having fun, always wear a smile. Personally I don’t recommend making out with strangers ~ I’m not prude but it is just not classy.
  • If they call you or you run into them at a Party/Pub/Club… Social Gathering – be civil and say minimal. But make sure you have a smile on your face and are positive. Keep them wanting to know whats going on with you. It’s ok to show off your assets and basically imply you are better off and happier without them. and after all your convincing of them you will eventually begin to realise you are better off without them.
  • Dress like you walked out of a magazine, you never know if you will run into them or one of their friends in the street. Also it will give you an ego boost as you attract attention. Keep exercising! Get your self Fit and Fabulous! And YOU will feel less upset by the whole fiasco if you exercise!
  • Learn to say goodbye. Stop thinking about all the plans you made together and all the things you shared. Make your own. Get seen having fun~! And eventually it will rub off on you!
  • Learn to be yourself again. Regain your old interests.

;

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Wallowing:
1. Have a cry. I recommend listening to Mended by you –It’s not an angry song and nice and slow.
2. Allow yourself a specific time slot in the day to think of him and fret. save it as a dedicated time and slowly it will get better.
3. Put his things in box and put them out of your life, give them to a friend and get them to return them for you. Try and distance yourself from him. By not seeing him you are giving yourself a chance to work yourself through the motions and start to move on.
4. Wallow however you want – sit in bed and watch old movies, pig out on chocolate with a friend. It’s your time for you to deal how you want but remember soon you are going to have to get out your game face.
Telling People:
1. It’s over, you can tell people, but avoid the whole Facebook thing by deleting your changed relationship status from the news feed. The world doesn’t need to know.
2. Take your time to tell people but don’t constantly talk about it.
Dealing with it:
1. You are not his personal stalker – stop following him or going to where you think he will be – give him time to miss you ~not that he’s going to win you back! You are too fantastic for them.
2. If he wants to see you and calls. Just say ‘No Can Do’, and leave it at that. Act as if he’s no one, you should have deleted his number by now.

;

My briefe tips on my method of survival for a break-Up. If you are feeling really down there are so many people who want to help and listen. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger about it ~ All you have to do is ask~
Elysium xxx

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Hard Choices

Hard choices plague everyone. The last few months I’ve been going through my own little drama and It had made me get in touch with my inner Me. It’s hard work trying to get to know yourself, I found out I’m a real bitch to myself. But it occurred to me I no longer know what my interests are. Do I still love reading or cooking or bushwalks? I don’t know what I like anymore. I don’t know what makes me happy or the trigger that makes me sad. This is problematic. I’m trying to work on this first before I make any decisions.

Anyway people deal with a difficult decisions in their own way. Recently I’ve been dreaming of herbs and bugs, insects and specifically skinks and newts.

And my logic is I’m stuck inside all day ever day doing things I don’t want to be doing, spending an average of 15 hours travelling in a bus or train a week. It starts to get to you. I’m stuck in a degree that I have no interest for. I always thought I wanted to be rich but recently I’m starting to have doubts. Money really can’t buy you happiness, but it certainly comes close.

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I want to do something that I will wake up and say to myself I’m so excited to go to work today, I cant wait to see what happened. This is a dream that I think I share will lots of people. the want to be happy and enjoy what you are doing is great but so is having enough money to put dinner on the table.

This is where I get to my hard choice.

Do I give up my time I have already spent on this degree in business to start a degree in Natural Medicine that will be via distance education and online learning? I will miss all my friends and the lifestyle. But it could make me happier in the long run. Clearly an open and shut case. But what happens if I lose interest in my new degree or find it too hard? I’d have no qualifications. Do I continue with business for the next four years and have my two degrees then look at the things I want to do?

I’m afraid I’ll run out of time. Like everyone else I face the same insecurities that time gives us.

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Meal Plan

Eating healthy can be hard work especially when you are in a rush and pressured by society to conform to the body image that is wanted by many.Dieting is hard. I hate it. I’ve tried everything and finally I have found a good plan for me.

  • I start my day (6am) with 2 large glasses of water – first things first – you probably didnt drink water during the night while you were sleeping, so you should hydrate your body.
  • Breakfast Time (7:20am) I usually dont get a chance to eat much fruit through the day as there are so many easier to eat snacks on the run, So breakfast is my fruit time.  2 apples and a banana (or what ever fruit you want to use – NOT DRIED – it has so much sugar) and milk like a cereal. It isnt for everyone I admit that but you can change it around, have yogurt instead, I put a handful of sunflower seeds and what ever nuts we have in the house and have that. Because I usually excercise every morning I have an egg hardboiled that I eat quickly just for the protein boost.
  • Lunch – it used to be so hard to make something. I need something you can eat and make quickly without making too much of a mess, both in the kitchen and on your nice clean clothes. I’ve recently been opting for a sandwich, Lots of Salad on it, ham (or what ever meat you want – no salami or devon – SO fattening), cheese, salt, lots of pepper and mustard. I may be just weird but I love this combination. When I am at home I would defiantly put tomato and other veggies on it, but since of all the travel its easier to have it …well not soggy.
  • Snacks: Celery is probably the best if your after weigh loss. But sometimes.. ok well almost never do I want to eat celery. I would opt for an apple and a packet of cookies – that my naughty treat. I made a promise to myself that If I stayed for my late night lectures I could have a packet and it has seemed to work well as a reward system as I end up staying for my other lectures.  Fruit like strawberries can be a fantastic snack but if your on the run and don’t really have a big bag I would not choose to take them because they will get squashed. Perhaps try making some musile bar slices at home and take them but remember all that dried fruit isn’t doing you any favours and portion sizes!! Remember eat smaller meals more frequently – keep that metabolism running! My snack is usually Milk. I drink on average 2 Liters a day when I am staying with my dad. I’ve been told by a lot of people that drinking milk isn’t that good but it is my guilty pleasure and as far as I am aware it isnt making me sick.
  • Dinner: Salad and Protein, either steak or fish. I tend to avoid pastas. I love them so much but I’m trying to avoid too much gluten in my diet. I have found that if I have more than two pieces of bread in a day I get sick ~ So that’s just me, but try not to eat takeaway more than one night a week.

I figure you have to see every meal as a treat. And my breakfast is something I look forward to every day. And a gourmet sandwich or soup or frozen meal from left overs – Is exciting to look forward too!

Remember – Everything In moderation.